Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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