I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
