i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
