he thought i was a dude.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
