Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
