when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
