so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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