Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
this hospital has no fireball
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
