So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
