His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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