On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
bring money and cleavage
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
