so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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