return my video game
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
