I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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