i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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