And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
