fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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