Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
