ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
