think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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