I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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