i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
