hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's official drugs can't kill me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
