Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
