she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
