i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
