I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
