I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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