when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it was like eating out sand paper
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dick very happy bro
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
