There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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