I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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