I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
