she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
