I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
