Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
