Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
