I just saw a hot homeless man
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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