ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
