Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You pole danced in your parka.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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