If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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