How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
