i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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