and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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