Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
