Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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