I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
