So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
