Your mouth is God's brothel.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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