I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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