Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
