He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
