She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
